Navigating Medical Gaslighting

If you are experiencing medical gaslighting, there are ways you can take action:

1. Change providers, if possible (for many reasons, this may not be an option for everyone).

2. Take someone with you to medical appointments if possible as an advocate.

3. Keep a written record of what occurred in medical appointments and hospitalizations.

4. Talk about your experiences with someone, like a trusted friend or therapist.

5. When a provider refuses to run a test that you feel you would benefit from, ask for the reason to be noted in your chart.

6. Practice assertive replies out loud in front of a mirror, with your therapist, or with a loved one.

Remember, assertiveness is not aggression.

Here are some examples of assertive responses:

  1. “I know my body very well and something is definitely wrong.”

  2. “It really doesn’t feel like you are listening to me.”

  3. “I don’t feel like you are hearing my concerns.”

  4. “It hurts when my concerns are minimized in that way.”

  5. “I don’t feel safe with the care I am receiving.”

  6. “Can you please document why you are refusing to order more testing.”

  7. “I hear that you disagree with me, and this is how I see it.”

  8. “I understand you were intending to make a joke. I did not take it as such because it felt hurtful.”

  9. “I see that you have a different perspective than me. I’m not imagining things.”

  10. “My experience is valid.”

  11. “Name-calling or making light of my situation is hurtful. It’s hard to hear you when you speak to me like that.”

  12. “I feel like I am not being heard.”

  13. “I know what is going on with my body and I am here reaching out for help.”

Having a chronic illness is exhausting both mentally and physically. Provide yourself with some added compassion. See our Self-compassion section for help with this. You will know if you want to go ahead and confront your experiences of medical gaslighting or if it is best for you to say nothing. You may decide to switch providers or continue to work with that provider. None of these are wrong. Get added support through a therapist, support group, the members of your disability community, or loved ones. You are not alone.

Contributions made by: Dr. Melissa Geraghty, Psy.D., Clinical Health Psychologist; CEO of Phoenix Rising with Dr. G

Click here to learn more about Dr. Geraghty!